Day One (04/30/24): 40 oz
Breaking The Cycle
Tuesday, April 30, 2024
75 Soft Challenge
Date Finished: 07/12/24
Return To Blogland
It's been awhile! I wanted to give myself some time before I started to dive back into blog land. I needed time to process, start a lifestyle change, and really decide what I wanted for myself. My life has been changing and over the last year so much has happened. I used to heavily lean on the blogging as an outlet for myself but then of course we are ever changing. But blogging was a big source of my coping through life.
It's been over a year! That's insane to me.
On March 21st my husband and I went to the doctor. Part of this was because my mother was recently diagnosed with Lupus and its heriditary so she wanted to find out if I had it as it would explain a lot of my health problems. The other part of this is that my husband and I aren't getting younger and we're heading into our older years where the health problems really start to surface.
On March 21st I went to the doctor fasting, I weighed in at 234. That is the heaviest I've been in a long time. It was an eye opener. I didn't worry too much about my weight though because my husband has always shown me that he loves me for me. That I'm perfect just the way I am. That he'll never love me any less because of appearance.
Oh? Did I mention we got married? We married on July 14th of last year. I can't believe its been nearly 3 years together and nearly a year married. Time flies when you're truly happy. A is almost done with the 6th grade and just turned 12 in February. She is truly an amazing person and I can't wait to see the future for her.
Anyways, let's get back on track. I found out I have Lupus and symptoms of PCOS. My husband and I decided it was time for a lifestyle change. It was time for us to take the reigns and get control. We weren't going to lose the weight over night but we could work on it together. Having support is everything. He is being as restrictive as I am but he's made amazing strides.
Thursday, February 9, 2023
It's Been Over a Month!
Buckle up my lovelies, this is gonna be a book! If you don't make it, I get it haha!
Overwhelmed is a understatement for how this last month has been. I started off so strong but it's always something little that snowballs us out of control, isn't it? Right around when I stopped posting my job starting letting people go. It was people of tenure. It was people being let go for unfair reasons. It made my anxiety spike through the roof because I don't do well with change or that uneasy feeling that I could be next. Right around the time that happened an opportunity arose to come back to a company I previously worked for at a higher pay. As much as I was apprehensive about coming back, I took it because it was a job that I was great at. The pay was the biggest reason I left.
January was a (excuse my language) clusterfuck. Around the beginning of the month both of my parents tested positive for covid and strep. It's their fourth or fifth time having it. It's not scary at this point, just annoying it keeps catching them. The week they were cleared from it, my fiance tested positive and then a few days after him I tested positive. I told ya, it was a long month. It was both of our first time having Covid. I never knew my bones could hurt so badly. Not to be overdramatic, but it truly felt like the end of times. I couldn't hardly move around the house. The loss of taste and smell was just annoying. We finally get to feeling better and think life is great. On the 29th I'm getting to take my daughter to my mom's so she can sleep for school and my mom asks me to entertain her and test her for covid. For those of you that have been around for awhile you know that my daughter always gets sick around her birthday month. It has been happening since she was two years old. She had her same yearly symptoms and in hindsight I should have caught that it was a bit different than her usual yearly crap. Sure enough, she was positive. After arguing with urgent care and finally getting them to confirm her diagnosis she was to miss school for the week. Apparently the biggest problem with children getting covid is that they are asymptomatic and don't present covid in any of the ways like adults do. They think she had it for awhile before testing positive and it's how we all got it. Thankfully she was fine with sleep and otc meds.
The following Monday is when the ice hit Texas. So my daughter ended up getting a week off of school excused anyways. By the time we got through everything anything to do with weight loss was shot. There are no excuses although I could give you plenty.
Part of my motivation to lose weight is in the hopes it will us in our fertility journey. My eighteen year old self could never imagine it would become so difficult to get pregnant. The one year anniversary of our miscarriage is quickly approaching and the waves of depression that keep hitting me are overwhelming. Every month you hope your period doesn't show. You begin to read entirely too much into the littlest body changes. Have I been nauseous? Are my breasts sore? Is my period really late or is it just playing with me this month?
Then you test.
One line.
And just like that my heart shatters all over again. I am trying so hard to keep a positive mindset but it feels like the odds are against us. I just wish my body would cooperate because I have always wanted more children and it feels like now that I'm in a great place in life, it should come naturally. I know it will happen when the time is right and not a moment sooner but it is so hard to remain positive at times.
Now we are in February and I am so happy to be getting back on track. I have a few tough days ahead of me in the coming months that I know will trigger depression. The one year anniversary of our miscarriage is coming up in March and then in April will make one year since my grandmother passed away. I am most definitely not prepared for either one but thankfully I have an amazing support system rooting me on and keeping my positive.
On a positive, bittersweet note in just 14 short days my beautiful daughter will be turning 11!! I can't believe I am momma to nearly an 11 year old! She is such an incredible kid and I am so proud of her. She just received an award for A/B honor roll. She is a great cat momma. She is so loving and sweet. I truly couldn't ask for a better kiddo.
For now, I am working on smaller portions and increasing water intake. I have been trash with any kind of accountability or weight loss but that is behind me and it is now a fresh month. Later today I will post where I am weight wise and what my tentative plan is.
Brightest Blessings Lovelies!
Thursday, December 22, 2022
Weigh In
It's that day of the week! It has definitely gotten easier to track what I'm eating and to be more conscientious of what I'm putting in my body. I find myself measuring my portion sizes and counting out the amount of what I'm eating. Today we celebrated our Christmas dinner and I did splurge because I worked hard to make it a special meal for our family. I made a roast, roasted up some carrots and potatoes, rolls, and gravy. I did limit myself to a smaller plate but I did allow myself to enjoy the meal. On the soda front, I am only drinking a diet one here and there. I've had no energy drinks! Overall this hasn't been easy but I am determined. My next goal is to get down a pant size and work on getting more water in my system.